we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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