shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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