Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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