Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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