Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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