Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
