dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
