she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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