I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
