i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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