I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
