I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
