Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
