Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
