Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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