at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
