Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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