Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
