Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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