i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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