Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
