So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize