you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
