super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
