Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
