You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
