if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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