my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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