Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
