This girl is more easily done than said...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
