it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
