oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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