Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
