who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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