You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
