Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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