Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
