It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
