If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
