I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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