The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
