I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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