he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
