he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize