I think scott just propositioned me for sex
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
