grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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