Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
