woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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