And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't turn off my feet"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
