We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize