Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
