YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
