Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I currently don't understand fingers.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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