it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You have to summon your inner elephant
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize