the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
