We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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