I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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