We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
this just has baby written all over it
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
