I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
