the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
